Australian Idol grande finale

If nothing else the Oz Idol Opera house extravaganza is always good for a laugh. And at least this year we didn't have to listen to half the bloody top 100 perform.

I knew it was going to be a good night when James Mathson announced that Marcia would be performing with daughter Deni! Oh goody. I can't wait for Idol 2016 when Holden's kids are old enough to duet with him. Fabulous.

Anyway, following the most NQR red carpet I have ever seen (various Neighbours starlets, a splattering of Big Brother skanks and the remaining carcasses of Idol top 12's of years gone by...and Georgie Parker...???) it was concert time. Every top 2 contestant from the past 3 years performed, except for Fat Casey, who, it would seem has decided to forgo her bowling/snorkelling/golf and get back on the pies and fags.

Fucking Young Divas. They don't so much as perform together but more like they are still competeing on Idol, against each other. It's most bizarre. Has Paulini actually lost some weight? Girlfriend wasn't looking too bad, well from the neck down anyway. Emily Williams has gone blond and looks even more Thai lady boy than before. And what is with the singing over dat tape shit? Doesn't anyone sing live?
There was some abortion of farewells at the end of the song when they all screamed over the top of each other and I'm sure i heard Kate De Araugo shout something about eating a Big Mac.

Marcia and Deni....there are really no words to describe this, but apparently this crap is being released as a single. Oh the joy.

Solo performances by Callea, Sebastian and Noll, with the latter clearly having spent some time backstage with Marcia and her friend Charles.

When Jess and Paddy finally arrive, they do so on a bail of hay and with a bunch of ponies in some bizarre ode to Idol's venture into the outback...or something. I thought Jess looked gorgeous, until she stepped off the car and revealed a pair of fucking ridiculous pink leggings. Fucking styling team!!!

Once that whole meet and greet was done with, the most out of key horrific group performance followed, and once inside the Opera House it was the usual medley of crap that always begins and ends with a Farnsy song. This year was Age of Reason.

A side note, somewhere in all of this I saw an ad for American Idol...what the fuck?? That finished months ago in the States, we all know the grey haired dude won, what is the point of showing it??? I'm quite sure the new series doesn't start til January.

So the show goes on with yet more retrospectives and montages of the final 2. I was somewhat disturbed to hear Jess say that people often say to her "Stop smiling, stop being so happy all the time." Who the fuck tells someone to stop being happy? And to a child no less. Cunts.

I failed in my prediction. I saw the the whole thing going the way of Casey v Anthony. I thought Jess would win, release that god awful song (at least Damien's version is palatable) and Damien would go on to release that opera thang (aka the poor man's The Prayer. His single would go on to out sell her's and end up being sung at every fucking event for the next year. No doubt he will still belt it out at Carols in 4 weeks.

So in the end, yes, Paddy won and so ends another year of Idol.